You are the fork and I am the spoon
I am the caterpillar, you’re the cocoon
You are the lyrics and I am the tune
I am the sand and you are the dune
You are the sun and I am the moon
I am the land and you’re the monsoon
You are the needle and I’m the balloon;
I am the air and now I’m renewed
Those trees out at the park
You know the ones
They saw the full-faced smiles
Quietly stolen kisses
Bathed in moonlight and darkness
Though we were nothing but luminous
With you I saw the whole woodlands
And we picked out the perfect trunk
Limbs against limbs
Faces finding fingertips
Souls meeting in between
Like deserts finally finding rain
My Year with Prozac:
(This is kind of a big deal for me to share but stepping out of my comfort zone has been the theme lately)
Around this time last year, I was really having a rough go of it. I’ll spare you specifics but I wasn’t the belle of the ball. It wasn’t the first time but it was the first time I decided I had had enough of drowning within myself.
So I asked for help.
And in seeking that help it was discovered that in my brain, coursing around my body, I had too much of one thing and not enough of another.
So on this day exactly one year ago, I held a little pill, half blue and half white.
I stood there, half with fear and half with hope.
And I took it that day. And the next. And at first, it robbed me of my energy and appetite. My focus and passions. It seemingly made me a little worse for a little while.
But out of moves, I took it. Day after day.
Until one day, I touched the surface of the water. I got stronger.
My fingertips brushed the air for the first time in a long time.
Pretty soon, my head was above the waves. They were rocky but I could breathe. And slowly I began to tread water.
I steadily became strong enough to deal with the “too much” while I got help with the “not enough.”
I became more balanced.
Am I balanced every single day? No.
Do I still have my down days? Anxious thoughts that can wreak havoc?
Yes. I probably always will. Sometimes the waves are choppy. And that’s okay.
It’s all part of growing. To keep going. Saying “and.” This year has taught me so much. This life is worth every breath we take.
Here’s to a year of change.
#endthestigma #mentalhealth #anxiety #depression #prozac #serotonin #tattoo
A stained window on the wall
Color washing in like a wave
Illuminating her dark quarters
Diamonds and triangles dance
Through slant cuts and shining suns
Even in moonlight she beams
Angles shift like tiny mysteries
Gears that never stop turning
Dull moments do not exist
While in her immersing presence
Solidly, she seeks her light
Longs to reach further places
Shapes to take better form
For she is too close to see it
The splendor she’s cast all along
Is a battle all in itself
You look around and see the trees
Hear the road noise, feel the breeze
And realize you are living
Sometimes you just have to survive
But in truth, each day is a win
Every breath is a battle
Each time you open your eyes
Fresh from slumber or barely conscious
You’ve decided to continue
Learn to let go of what you can’t control
And just breathe;
Some mornings it takes a little more momentum to push the covers off of me
Sometimes I need to muster a bit more courage to speak
There are days when I have to try a little harder to move my feet
To put one in front of the other, raise my head and breathe
Some nights I toss and turn trying to slip into a slumber
While other times my eyelids are only longing to be lowered
And though there will be foggy days until the last sun I see
It only makes the days without it full of vibrant clarity
I feel it creeping up, staring at me out of the corner of my eye
I smile but feel the weight of the muscles I pull on in an attempt to push the mist away
It remains
Just yesterday a friend said I was glowing and I wonder: will I still glow in the dark?
